Real Classy Frogtown…

Nothing helps reinforce insomnia like hearing multiple gunshots as you brush your teeth then seeing your husband dart past the bathroom carrying the (home defense) shot gun and having to wait up to talk to police about the potential murderer roaming your neighborhood. And people wonder why I want to move, even though my house is brand new.

Doomed to Repeat It…

I’ve come to the conclusion that there are two types of people in the world.

People who believe that with power comes responsibility.

People who believe that with power comes apathy.

Right now our world is being run by people who think that with power comes apathy for the plights of those not in power. Anyone that isn’t wealthy and connected doesn’t matter and are only to be exploited for the benefit of the powerful. This isn’t anything new, leaders have been doing it for centuries, but I had hoped by now we would have morally evolved past that.

Correcting Common Misconceptions

Attention strangers, this is a FYI to all you self-absorbed asshats.

When I am driving, according to law, leaving a car space between myself and the vehicle in front of me, and we are in stop and go traffic, you do not have the right to dart over in front of me, causing me to have to slam on my brakes, because you think my lane is going to be faster. FYI, because of jerks like you my lane has now come to a stop too and when it is raining out it is even more dangerous for you to change lanes, with no blinker, behind a vehicle that is about to come to a stop itself.

When you are standing in a line, and you decide to leave the line and go look at something else, you have forfeited your spot in the line. Just because you once stood in front of me does not guarantee you the right to wander off and come back minutes later thinking I’ll be OK with you budging back in. I wanted to browse while I waited and I really had to pee too, but I stayed where I was because the line was long enough and I wasn’t going to start over at the end of the line just to check something out. You leave a line, consider your spot surrendered.

If you choose to never clean your bathroom, causing dirt and mold to build up all over your grout, do not call up and demand that your grout be re-done because it is defective. I am not sure where you grew up, but apartments do not clean themselves. You are an adult, you have a job and pay taxes, if you are too lazy to simply clean your bathroom than there are plenty of companies you can pay to come clean it for you. Stop complaining, and expecting other people to take care of your own responsibilities, and grow up.

When you made the decision to procure a pet, you agreed to pay attention to it, to take care of it and to clean up its feces. If you are walking your dog and your dog decided to take a shit, you better have brought a bag with you to pick it up with, if not you better get your hands dirty and pick it up anyway. Just because you think no one is looking it doesn’t give you the right to leave that pile of dog poop laying there for other people to smell. These abandoned shit piles could be teeming with parasites that can be transferred to other people’s pets who pass by and sniff it. They also attract flies and create a mess if someone mows over it. If you hold the leash, you need to pick up the feces. This is non-negotiable and the next time I see you poop and dash I will come out and fling it at your head.

If you request something from someone and they respond with very clear instructions of what you would need to do in order to have your request accommodated than perhaps you should actually read the instructions sent to you and follow them instead of repeatedly sending the instructions/required (blank) forms back, with your original request, to every fax number you can find hoping they will get sick of it and make an exception just for you. Pay really close attention to this next sentence. YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL AND I WILL NOT BEND THE RULES BECAUSE YOU CAN NOT FILL OUT A MANDATORY, SIMPLE AS FUCK, FORM. I know you received what I sent you, you have demonstrated that you can read, therefore your actions actually encourage me to want to deny your request based on what I can only assume is your high level of stupidity. Take the moment and just read the response before you freak out and throw a giant hissy fit about how you are unfairly being denied….blah blah blah.

Cc’ing the President of the United States or the Attorney General on inane requests does not impress anyone. No one believes you know these people and they certainly are not going to care that you failed to comply with the requirements of a (insert name of company/network/organization) and have been thusly kicked out of it. Trying to impress or intimidate your way out of being held accountable is lame and lacking in character. Just accept that you have to take responsibility for your actions and that is the only way you are going to achieve your desired goals.