The carrot cake recipe Andrea shared on WP, half day @ work for a company event, it’s only 3 days till the epic road trip and we just saved about $1000 so far on trip costs by re-booking some things.
What do YOU love today?
“The Worst of Them All”
After making the hasty decision to move out of the Coon Rapids apartment I shared with C I ended up moving into a duplex in Minneapolis near the U of M campus with a guy I’d just met. S seemed ok at first, just a typical college student who needed help paying the rent since his last roommate moved out after graduating. S even told me it would be fine if I didn’t pay the first two months while I finished paying on the lease I shared with C.
S gave me total control over decorating which I loved, soon the house was painted with accent walls, I’d changed out the toilet, stove, fridge and added some cabinets and our own laundry so we didn’t have to share with the neighbors. The landlord was supposed to reimburse me for all the improvements and she absolutely did take it off the rent, S just never told me. While I waited for a check to come he was using my credits to pay his portion of the rent…for months…without a word.
S also continually tried to date me but I was interested in other people which pissed him off. He did manage to convince me to let him tag along on my family’s Alaskan cruise which, although he did give my dad $1200, I know it ended up costing my dad some money to have him come with. S would also team up with our neighbors to throw huge parties while I would be at work or class so I would often come home to tons of strangers in my house, my cats terrified and hiding out in my room which was never locked like it was supposed to be.
Besides not being truthful about the rent and his own broke as a joke financial situation S was also manipulative and passive aggressive in his efforts to convince me we should be a couple. It got to be where I didn’t even want to come home because I didn’t want to deal with him, especially if I was coming back from hanging out with other guys. S often acted jealous and possessive during the parties if I was talking with other guys even though we were not together. He’d also try to make me jealous by flirting and sleeping with tons of girls and then be angry when I didn’t care.
I think the worst thing S did happened when I had taken my yearly trip to California to visit my cousins. Shortly before I had left S asked if I would co-sign his next set of student loans. I declined, knowing full well the man had no money and honestly I didn’t think he would ever hold down a job so it would be a huge risk I would never take. He got pissed of course, but S was always pissed about something. While I was in California S went into my room (which I couldn’t lock because my cats’ food and litter box were in there) and rifled through all my things until he found one of my expired licenses I had thrown in a drawer. He also used my old address book and his graphic design skills to forge my name on his student loan documents. I wouldn’t find this out for two years.
Shortly after getting back from California I had decided it was time to find a new place since I had just learned that S had used my Best Buy account number to buy himself a $1500 computer set-up he had no intention of paying for, we fought so hard over that and he had promised to pay me back but I never received a dime for it in the end. I had recently graduated college and found a new job that paid more so I got myself a beautiful studio in an upscale building in St. Paul and said goodbye to S once and for all, or so I thought.
About two years after I moved out of the Minneapolis duplex I started receiving calls from Sallie Mae about owing on a student loan. My loans were all but paid off and I had never been late with a payment. They explained that the loans belonged to S and I had no idea why they wanted money from me for his loans. They sent me their “proof” that I was a co-signer and I about flipped my lid, actually I think I did flip out. I was so pissed. I called S, but the number I had for him wasn’t in service anymore. We didn’t really have any mutual friends so I had no idea where he was. I tried the old duplex but strangers lived there now. Sallie Mae didn’t believe me when I said I had never signed the loan application, even though it wasn’t my handwriting, or signature or even the correct spelling of my name.
Eventually it would take a year, a lawyer and a handwriting analysis report to convince Sallie Mae to release me from the forged student loan debts. My credit score took a huge hit that it still hasn’t fully recovered from and it made buying my first house more of a hassle, although in retrospect we really shouldn’t have bought that house. To this day I still get calls from Sallie Mae asking me if I know where S is or how to contact him about his delinquent loans. I keep telling them I haven’t talked to him in over 7 years and to please remove me as a reference but they never do. If I ever see S again there is the very real chance I will end up in jail for assault.
I now destroy all expired drivers licenses and opt for e-statements instead of paper billing…I do wish there would have been a less stressful and costly way to learn that lesson though.
“My Second Shitty Roommate Experience”
After I had moved out of the awful Ramsey house that nearly killed me and lost me two cats I got myself a one bedroom apartment and lived alone for a year. It was glorious. I loved it so much, sadly my bank account didn’t. I was working full-time but also going to school full-time and the expenses were starting to drain away all my money.
A friend of mine, C, from work wanted to get an apartment with me, we got along well so I figured it would be ok to live with her, after all she didn’t drink or do drugs and was pretty fiscally responsible. We found an apartment we liked and signed the lease. Right after we moved, before I could even unpack, I left for a long ago scheduled trip to California leaving my cats at my parent’s house so as to not burden my new roommate with taking care of them for a week.
When I got back I was severely sunburned and cranky plus I was facing a lot of unpacking to do. At first, when I got back, I thought C’s boyfriend, P, had come over to visit but when he hadn’t left after a couple of days I asked C what the hell was going on. She told me that he was staying in her room for a while. Awhile turned out to be a permanent thing. I requested that we add him to the lease, that we split the costs three ways. None of my requests were granted.
It was annoying enough to know I was paying more than my fair share for rent and utilities when there were clearly 3 people living there, but the situation got worse when P started drinking again. Side note, P was and is a horrible person with no regard for others or even his own children.
P would come home drunk and hit on me if C wasn’t around. I would tell C this and she wouldn’t believe me. P would text me inappropriate things which I would show C and she would tell me he must have meant to send the texts to her, even though they had my name in them. P would eat my food, drink my drinks and leave messes in the kitchen for us ladies to clean up. Plus C and P would fight all the time, very loudly…when they weren’t fighting they were fucking, also very loudly.
I think the breaking point for me was the day I came home to find P making a car bomb on my dining room table. I told C he needed to get out, she didn’t take my request seriously. I threatened to go to the management company and tell them P was living there and she got mad at me. By that time I didn’t even ever want to be at home because I disliked P so much. I ended up moving out several months before my lease was up because C just wouldn’t kick P out. In retrospect I should’ve just gotten my own place again because my next roommate turned out to be even worse, but that is a story for another day.
By this time next week I will be embarking on my epic road trip out to and down the east coast with husband and brother. I didn’t want to plan it all myself, but I’m not getting any help from the boys on mapping our route or places they want to see. I do not like feeling like a dictator but I also don’t want to plan it as we travel. Ideally I’d like a flexible schedule that alleviates anxiety but allows for random adventures.
Why is it so hard to plan things with other people?
I’m still torn between what to see in NYC. I want to see the Jewish Museum, the Met, MOMA, Central Park and Grand Central but is that too many museums on the list? Are those 5 places doable in a two day time frame? Where should I go to eat while I’m there? I have long since come to doubt the online reviews of strangers when it comes to finding places to see and eat at, this is becoming quite the homework assignment.
Bahamas are now out, the cruise we won turned out to be a scam, so I guess that means three more days bumming around southern Florida which I am ok with. I wonder what new things we’ll find to do there this time…that is at least one thing I know husband will help with, his love for Florida knows no equal.
No matter how it turns out at least I will have three weeks away from work. No bs from the boss, co-workers or the providers is worth a little stress now as I plan this massive trip all alone. While I’m on the road my updates may be a bit sporadic but once I come back…oh the pictures I will have.