Irrational Attachments

Sometime whilst sitting comfortably in my coat pocket on my way home from a meeting, encased in the hard plastic/rubber case, my phone decided enough was enough and the liquid crystals that ensure visual representation and touch screen capabilities threw a raging party that resulted in the black screen of death. Either that or my cat, stepping on the corner of my phone when she jumped up in my lap when I first got home, was the death blow. All I knew was that my phone was pretty much useless at that point.

I noticed I started going through the stages of grief when I realized I couldn’t check my texts or pop open a web page. I sat there in shock, trying to deny that this was happening. I usually have a back-up phone but it was missing from all the normal places. When I couldn’t find it my denial quickly turned to anger. That flashing blue light telling me I had messages waiting for me that I would never be able to check was like a taunting bully, mocking my pain. I got so angry that my stomach started to hurt. Part of me thought it was ridiculous that I would be so upset over a phone but that didn’t stop me from being angry. Husband had to remind me we had a tablet I could use for my alarm clock, that I could get the screen fixed, that things would be ok and to calm down. I still laid awake longer than I should have trying to figure out what had happened.

I’m still pretty crabby today. I can’t use my phone to listen to music or watch tv while I work and I am far more upset about that than I feel like I should be. Funny thing is, I’ll leave my phone behind and go run errands, go long periods between checking it at all (much to the annoyance of people trying to get ahold of me) and honestly thought I wasn’t that dependent on it. This is forcing me to realize I still am far too reliant on the conveniences these smart phones provide. I don’t want to have such an irrational attachment to technology. I need to break my dependency and remind myself that I lived for a long time without one and I can do it again. I don’t want to be the girl who cries over a broken phone.

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5 thoughts on “Irrational Attachments

  1. Reblogged this on galesmind and commented:
    I think we all have had these moments. Funny I remember a day when you had to find a payphone to make a call and cell phones were the size of a loaf of bread and I still panic if I can’t find mine.

    • I’d love to say that I could use this as an opportunity to be more productive at work, but we’re dealing with website issues so I am stuck sitting at work waiting for web pages to load that take FOREVER, gosh I miss my Comcast Go app.

  2. If I leave the house and forget to pocket my phone, as soon as I realize it is missing, I start to panic. And I don’t use it for anything beyond conversation. All the what if’s fill my mind: What if there is an accident? What if I see a crime in progress? What if I have to report a fire? What if I need to call an ambulance to help someone injured?

    That said, at one point in my life I was so wired in that between work and home I had 3 cell phones, a pager, three laptops, two desk tops, two home phone lines, a desk phone at work, five e-mail accounts ( I was studying so I had a school e-mail; we had two systems at work, so i had two work e-mails; I had a family e-mail and a personal e-mail). It took 2 hours just to check messages and that was without returning any. When I travelled i had pockets full of devices – my wife suggested (sarcastically) that I buy a bandolier to sling my communication devices across my chest. I told her that I was concerned that I might get struck by lightning and there would be nothing left of me but a pile of charcoal dust.

    So, I changed jobs and finished school and swore off electronics. It was like floating free in the world – like walking on air. Right after I changed jobs i was diagnosed with cancer. That battle has since been fought and won – some 10 years ago – but there was one item that stuck in my mind. In the quest to figure out what had caused the cancer I delved into all the current theories and joined a national organization that follows cancer patients and determines commonness in their lives and/or backgrounds. The one characteristic that stuck out was that 75% of the cancer patients (the type i had) either were, or had recently been, in a high stress environment for an extended period.

    Anyway, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. I still cling to my little flip phone but refuse to get any further wired. I wish you luck DBA with your withdrawal symptoms.

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