This whole week has just been an exercise in frustration. There continues to be “restructuring” at work where the other arm of our parent company keeps giving us departments that aren’t doing so well (we are the arm of the company that makes the money and has the effective practices) and the new departments refuse to conform to our process/procedures and instead are trying to bully us into adopting their way of doing things. If they had a legitimately better way of doing things I could understand, but they don’t. We put in the hard work over 5 years ago to streamline, lean out and improve every process we have. We saved over a million (yearly) in operating costs by doing it, increased our productivity by 32% and dropped our DOI complaints down to 0 for the last 5 years, which they never did, they are still where we were 6 years ago. Yet this other department (because we got their director in the restructuring) seems to think that anything we do that they don’t is unnecessary. They don’t want to change so they expect us to. It is a terrible strategy from a business standpoint. They don’t have a “me” over there. My position simply doesn’t exist, although it should, and this director is working so hard to eliminate a huge portion of my position even though it goes against our entire program and set procedures. Everyone is too scared to challenge her and it is so stressful to feel so helpless. I don’t think my employment is in jeopardy but what exactly is she expecting me to do if she eliminates 50% of my daily work? There are some pretty tedious duties on my team that I have zero interest in participating in and the idea of having to face that everyday would be akin to suicide of the soul. I couldn’t handle the insult, and it would be an insult and complete waste of talent more than is already in place. I did have a lovely dinner with SM Tuesday night. We went to Spoon & Stable for a belated birthday dinner, my treat, and SM really enjoyed getting to eat at an upscale restaurant with legitimately good (quality) food. I think I would have been more impressed if I hadn’t already been to Alma a couple months ago. Once you’ve been there, it’s pretty hard to top it. I’ll have to take SM one of these days, told her to save up about a hundred and we’d go. It’s a shame I could never take husband, I don’t think he’d enjoy those kinds of menus. Still it was an excellent meal and I was happy to eat with someone else who appreciated the time and thought that went into making it.

Wednesday, more stress, more frustration. I felt like I was trapped in a circle of negativity. I would try to focus on the positive but it seemed like I was surrounded by nothing but incompetent people, stupid people, annoying people and hateful computers that were determined to malfunction. Everything and everyone made me want to crawl into bed and stay there until I could see some sunshine. It took me all day and a really good belly laugh to finally be able to push the negative veil away just long enough to come up with a handful of things to “love” that day. That negative veil is like a block that traps you inside, unable to access the parts of your brain where joy and happiness and positive thoughts reside. You know they are there, but they are just out of reach and somehow that makes the whole situation worse. I got the all clear from my doctor so that was a ray of positive I could cling to that would help drag me away from that negative veil. Indulged in some Chinese (comfort) food after a long day at work, which helped a smidgen. The Twins won their game against the Cardinals so there was something else I could put in the positive corner. I still felt so full of irritable emotions though. I hope that my flight on Saturday doesn’t get cancelled due to weather. Rain is in the forecast and I don’t know how safe it is to be in a twin engine in inclement weather. I don’t want my first experience flying to scar me into not wanting to fly. I love to fly, I don’t want to jeopardize that. Maybe if the weather is bad I can work something out with them because my voucher expires the end of the month. Who knows. I am going to try and think positively and hope that I can kick out of the funk soon.


6 thoughts on “6/16-17/15

  1. Complex DBA. I once took a course in “Change Management” and I told the prof that the name should be changed to “Managing to Change”. It is hard to get people to change and when some have and some haven’t it inevitably creates a rift. The situation you describe does not lend itself to easy answers. I guess the best place to start would be at the top – who is driving the change and will they commit to it? If they won’t then you will just have to learn to live with the partially converted organization.

    That said DBA, it is pretty apparent that you are driven by efficiencies and don’t tolerate chaos well. That’s generally indicative of someone who has greater potential. Have you considered management training and moving your career upwards?

    Oh, I’m jealous that you are getting to fly a plane. It would be one of the few items on my bucket list, if I had a bucket list. I hope the weather is great for your flight. 😀

    • I used to be a manager, at every other company I ever worked at. I even had my own store for a couple years and did extremely well. Unfortunately this company don’t seem the least bit interested in my leadership talents here (they seem intimidated by them actually) and I’ve been effectively kept in my lower position for 6 years. I am looking elsewhere but the job market is terrible right now, a combination of sheer luck and networking which I seem to be on the unfavorable end of right now are what gets people jobs, not actual skill or experience. It’s a backwards sort of practice that isn’t helping the economy at all.

      • Ahhh, I would suggest that you are kept at the same level because you are doing a good job. It happens at companies lacking in imagination. And welcome to the dead job market. Don’t give up DBA. Sometimes it takes years. Networking is critical so keep it up. I’m sure you know all this: it is important to get your work in front of the big bosses, volunteer for new projects, take every opportunity for upgrading your skills, stay positive and proactive, build your brand – the brand of DBA. Consider yourself a company that has to sell it self to your customers (your bosses) – make sure your good works are out there to be seen (without being tacky, keeping the higher ups informed is important -after all how will they know how good you are unless you let them know?); develop new products (skills,talents); sell, sell,sell (your abilities); be as cross-trained as possible. It’s helpful if you can look a your daily work from your boss’s perspective – think like a boss. The next time the company has a problem make sure when they are considering solutions the answer of “DBA” pops to their minds. DBA will solve our problem.

        I’m sure you know all that, it’s just a refresher and a booster. Keep your head up DBA, better times are coming. 😀

  2. I’m sorry you have had such a difficult week. I know this doesn’t sound good but I have found that some women bosses are intimidated by talented women on their staff and tend to bully them or ignore them.
    I hope you flying lesson goes well – good luck for tomorrow!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s