I walked inside my back door tonight to the smell of fresh paint, death and human urine…
The paint I didn’t mind so much, husband decided the main floor living room and hallway ceiling needed a fresh coat of paint. I thought the ceilings were fine though the walls could’ve used another coat. I’m used to having to endure people fixing things that aren’t broke in lieu of taking care of legitimate issues, what’s one more?
The smell of death has been pinpointed to the area behind my washer/dryer. I think the white cat brought a mouse in and it’s perished back there somewhere. I asked husband to move them so I could look but instead he built a skill course for his drone rental business and then fell asleep on the couch, so I went out to dinner with a lady friend.
As I walked inside tonight I immediately took a deep breath and held it walking past the laundry area so as to not gag on the stench. I hurried into the bathroom and breathed a sigh of relief only to notice the floor was wet with splatters leading towards the toilet. As I approached the bowl I smelled the unmistakable odor of urine, it was like the smell of a seedy stairwell in a grimy downtown parking lot. I looked down and there was urine pooled to the left of the bowl, splashed onto the sides of my vanity and dripping down my trash can. The bottom of the vanity was soaked in it, as well as an errant tissue that had fallen besides the trash can.
I called for my husband to come explain why the floor was covered in pee. He shrugged and tried to blame the cat. I told him it smelled like human pre and had clearly originated from the toilet bowl as there was also urine drops on the back of the bowl behind the seat. He shrugged again and said maybe it was his friend from earlier who helped him paint. I had used the bathroom before I left though, which was after his friend had gone home and there was no pee then. He shrugged and said he’d been sleeping on the couch the whole 4 hours I was gone. I told him next time he sleep-peed to please do it inside the bowl or he’d have to clean it up. He got upset and said it wasn’t him. I told him the urine was fresh, the pee-soaked tissue still warm, he made no comment and went back to sleep.
I don’t think I ever imagined having to spend my Friday night mopping piss off my bathroom floor, scrubbing pee off my trash can and trying to figure out how to get urine out of particle board. Yes I know I said I want a baby but jeez there’s better ways to prepare me.
I still need to get rid of whatever dead thing is stinking up my laundry area, maybe I will be able to put that down for tomorrow’s what’s going right installment.