I Love You, but I Love Me More

This last weekend was all sorts of messed up. I am not going to go into detail but suffice to say the crazy level has gotten too high for me to ignore. I’ve been so desensitized by all the things that have happened in my life that almost nothing shocks me anymore. That isn’t necessarily a good thing. I shrug off things that most people think are highly inappropriate because I’ve learned not to let them touch me. If I don’t care it can’t hurt me right?

Problem is, my ability to endure unhealthy situations allows me to let situations go on longer than they should. I’ve faced so much confrontation that sometimes it’s just easier to hide, or run. I always want to help others, even to my own detriment, and if you couple that with my tolerance my kindness often gets mistaken for weakness. I don’t want to feel like I destroyed someone else’s life, or brought them harm, but when it’s killing me to accommodate them I have to harden my heart and walk away. I have a feeling I haven’t quite hit the darkest hour yet, but hopefully the light at the end of the tunnel is just around the corner.

 

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11 thoughts on “I Love You, but I Love Me More

      • Unconditional love….I have a person in my life that I should have unconditional love for and I don’t. It makes me feel bad and I have a lot of guilt over my feelings. If that unconditional love is sucking the life out of you, it’s time to step back and look at what the relationship is doing to yourself.

  1. I am sorry you’ve had such a bad weekend. You have an unpleasant task ahead of you and the sooner you get it done the better I think. Make a plan and stick to it as best you can. Ensure you are safe (also you mother and cats too) and then deal with the property you own. Once you have started on a strategy things will happen quite quickly so you will need support and advice from people you trust. Best of luck.

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