Weakends

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return”

Remember that quote, it’s a good one. Far too many people dismiss the importance of learning both those lessons. I had a friend once, years ago, that I used to tell I loved them all the time and it made them so uncomfortable. I wasn’t ever trying to be anything more than their friend and I explained that repeatedly. I just always thought it was a nice thing to be told you’re loved, especially in a non-romantic way, to know someone cares and accepts you for all that you are. I’m finding that a lot of people don’t know how to handle being loved though. Even M struggled with accepting my love our entire marriage and really only embraced it after our divorce when he felt it start to dissipate.

I look around at all the really shitty things happening on this planet. All the cruel actions and hateful words spewing forth create an aura of unhappiness that baffles me. Why do so many people reject love? Why the proclivity towards hate? Does hate seem safer? Does hate placate insecurity? Life is so short, why waste time being bitter and scared all the time. It won’t protect you from anything except the opportunity to experience the greatest emotion we’re capable of.

I was talking to my cousin the other night about this topic and she was chastising me about letting M still do things for me. She thought it was inappropriate that he tells me how much he loves me everyday and wants to pay me back for all that I’ve done for him over the years. She thinks that because I don’t respond back in a negative way that it somehow means I’ll go back to him. I won’t go back, not ever, but I can still appreciate knowing I’m loved. It’s the same reaction I have when someone asks to pray for me. Just because I don’t put much stock in prayer doesn’t mean letting someone else do it on my behalf will in anyway imply I’ve become religious myself. It’s coming from a place of love and why on earth would I reject that?

Maybe all the people that reject the love others offer them do so because they haven’t learned how to love themselves yet and feel like they don’t deserve it. Maybe they think because they don’t share that ability to love you back it’s not fair to accept the love being offered. There’s probably a myriad of reasons why love is rejected by people sadly. I wish the world wasn’t like that. I wish more people would learn, not only how to love, but be loved in return, what a wonderful world that would be.

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13 thoughts on “Weakends

  1. Yep, you nailed it. Regarding the insightful question you posed: “Does hate placate insecurity?” The answer is definitely YES. Loving and accepting love all begins with loving yourself, and sadly for some that’s hard to do. Keep up your loving spirit!

  2. I know how to love, but has taken years for me to freely say it. I grew up with parents that never said those words to me, but I know they did love me in their own way.

  3. I agree that one has to love themselves in order to be open to accepting it. I think loving comes from understanding love itself. It can’t be accepted if surrounded by negativity or compassion for ourselves.

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