This last week has been a rollercoaster.

I got a 5:30am wake up call late last week from my mom who was freaking out because my brother had just arrived home in a black out state. He’d driven his truck back minus a front tire and with the air bag deployed, somehow managing to get there without attracting the attention of law enforcement despite the sparks and shards of discarded metal trailing behind his vehicle.

It wasn’t a great morning…he eventually passed out and when he woke up tried to claim someone must have hit his truck when it was in the parking lot of a local gambling establishment. We all know it’s a lie and just went to prove he wasn’t willing to acknowledge his addictions and the downward spiral he’s on.

My mom has been calling me, crying and depressed, pretty much every day since. My brother showed up at my house over the weekend with the sole intent on stealing from me. I hid my wallet and anything else I thought he’d try to take and just faced the reality that I will have to cut him out of my life soon if he remains unwilling to admit he has a problem.

Sunday I had a revolving full house of people stop by, some of my favorite people really so it was a good day. I remember being happy on Sunday, and grateful, plus there was a pretty tasty meal thrown in there somewhere too.

Then over the past couple of days I have received letters telling me my property refund was seized to pay ex husband’s jail and court fees. I let myself, just for a couple minutes, peek behind the wall I keep all my negative emotions stored and that reduced me to a sobbing shaking mess on my kitchen floor, the couple glasses of wine I downed after probably wasn’t the best idea so I feel like I also possibly ruined the mousakka I was in the process of making. I was a dead-tired ghost of myself the next day at work but forced myself to go out and have dinner with a friend after which moderately perked me up. I was on track to have a fantastic Thursday till I got home to find a letter from the insurance company trying to tell me some obscure MN law revoked my beneficiary rights upon divorce. I refuse to panic and I refuse to accept their attempts to get out of paying.

Now I am trying to stay calm under the knowledge that I have to spend the next couple of days with my mom and brother at another family wedding. I may or may not have “stories” by the end of this weekend.

I hope you are all having better weeks than I did.