You Definitely Have A Problem

I’ve occasionally mentioned my brother. He has been riding that grief train pretty hardcore since his daughter died back in 2014. He won’t get off and he won’t admit that his refusal to deal with it has created an opportunity for depression and addiction to slide on in and take up permanent residence. He drinks, he smokes, he gambles, he pops pills, he lost his job from a dui, he smashed his truck driving in a blackout state totaling it, he trashes our mother’s house, he rarely showers and apparently now can’t be bothered to walk the 20ft over to the bathroom so he pees in empty plastic bottles which he then leaves sitting around. Yeah this is all pretty standard behavior right? He’ll keep telling you he doesn’t have a  problem. I wish that there was a way to force him into treatment. Right now I feel like I don’t have a brother anymore, just a guy who looks like an unhealthy version of someone who was my brother.

He won’t change until he wants to change and he doesn’t want to change. I feel bad for my mom who won’t kick him out.

Depression alone is a terrible thing to live with, depression coupled with addiction…I hope I never have to experience that first hand, it’s hard enough just to watch him take the slow path of suicide he’s on.

Wish there was an easy solution to this.



17 thoughts on “You Definitely Have A Problem

  1. I’m sorry – it’s awful to watch someone go through something like that and not be able to do anything or break through it get him to save himself, because he’s the only one who can do it. Perhaps it’s time for an intervention or (lame, but maybe it will help) watching Intervention (with or without him)? I’ll be thinking of him (my version of praying) & you & your family & hoping he turns things around.

  2. You are right, he can’t change and get better until he faces his problems and deep depression and seeks help. I am so sorry for you and your mother having to go through this with him. Thinking of you.

  3. I can only imagine what it’s like to watch someone destroy themselves. You’re right, he has to want to help himself. It sounds as if he has almost hit his bottom and maybe he’ll see his way out? Hang in there.

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