Enough

When my niece died it took a heavy toll on the family.  When my father died the next year it was even worse.  I was lucky enough to have an external support system but my mother and brother weren’t as lucky and they’ve been on a downhill trajectory.  She enables him and he’s been traveling farther and farther down a dark path. He’ll fuck up and she’ll cry about it but do nothing and then the cycle starts all over getting worse and worse.

Friday I leaned brother had started forging checks to steal money from mother so he could continue to drink and gamble. I informed mother who just wanted to talk to him about it.  I wanted to inform the bank or the police.  I wanted him to understand how far down the dark path he’s gone.  I wanted him to admit he has a problem so he can start to work on getting better. I went over to talk about it only to find brother had left again in mother’s car while he wasn’t sober.  I was done,  done with the looking the other way and the excuses and justifications.  I have lost all the same people plus all the shit with husband that happened too. Grief can’t be an excuse anymore.  I couldn’t stand by and watch him continue to self destruct so I called the police on him. mom was mad about it but I didn’t care.

Brother showed up minutes before police arrived.  He was unsteady and slurring. I grabbed the keys from him right before the police rang the bell. Mother went to talk to the officer then he had a word with brother.  Found out brother had damaged mother’s car on his way home.  She now needs a whole new driver’s side door and mirror. Despite his admission he damaged the vehicle,  his clear lack of being sober, and the forgery, white privilege prevailed.  Brother was told to get some counseling and officer left.  I was pissed off. I’m sure it had something to do with my mom probably being unwilling to press charges but I would’ve never gotten away with that shit.

Before I left I demanded brother get into treatment or AA, something. If not I was going to inform the bank. I don’t know if my threat will inspire him to get help. I just don’t know what else to do. I don’t want to see him drag himself and my mother down so far that there’s no coming back. This sucks.

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7 thoughts on “Enough

  1. I think you’re doing the right thing, setting some limits and asking him to get help. I think he’s probably (unfortunately) going to have to come to getting help on his own but I hope that’s sooner rather than later. It’s hard to get through addiction to the person you know & love, and as an alcoholic I’ll say it’s so much easier to hide in the booze than to deal with reality & your issues. It took a life-threatening event for me to pull myself together; I hope your brother figures it out without that.

  2. I think you did the right thing too. I am so sorry that you are having to go through all this on top of your own unhappiness and troubles. I hope your brother does seek help soon but that takes so much more effort than continuing with his addictions.

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