Youthful Misadventures

“The Time I Lost My Brother At A MCS Show”

For the longest time my brother and I didn’t get along, probably because there’s over 7 years of age difference between us, but once I moved out of the house and he became a teenager we finally started to bond and create our own traditions together.

I decided to start introducing my brother to live concerts when he was 15, I figured if I loved going to shows when I was that age, he probably would too. I bought him a ticket to the Motion City Soundtrack show since he seemed to like their music too. One of my co-workers was already going to that show as well so we all decided to carpool (with me driving, we were, after all, going to First Ave and I had already learned not to let anyone else drive me there) there in a snowstorm. Co-worker was in the passenger seat and brother was in the back.

While I was paying attention to the road conditions and keeping us from sliding into other cars or snowbanks, co-worker was letting my brother have a “sip” of some vodka he had brought along. In the rearview mirror I saw my brother tilting the bottle up to take a swig. I told my brother that was all he was allowed to have, one sip, I didn’t want him getting drunk. I told co-worker to take the bottle back. I couldn’t see my brother filling his water bottle with vodka and so when my brother handed back the bottle I thought the matter had been taken care of.

We left our cell phones in the car when we arrived. I told my brother to stay close to me during the show. We walked into First Ave and I immediately went to my normal spot that I liked to watch concerts at to wait for MCS to take the stage. My brother asked if he could go in the mosh pit, I told him sure but to come back afterwards. He disappeared into the crowd. Co-worker and I chatted over the noise of the opening band neither of us knew or liked. I looked out in the crowd but couldn’t find my brother anymore. I wondered if he had gone to the bathroom. I had, after all, seen him down an entire bottle of water in the backseat of my car.

I asked co-worker to go check the bathrooms for him. He came back and said he didn’t see my brother in there. At this point MCS was about to take the stage. I was half worried and half pissed off that my brother was going to miss the show. I told myself he was probably in the crowd and I just couldn’t see him in the dimmed lighting. I didn’t enjoy the concert as much as I would’ve because I kept looking around the venue for my brother. As soon as the show was over I started roaming the entire club trying to find him. At this point I was extremely worried. I had no idea where he had gone. I was getting close to panicking because I couldn’t find him and had an awful feeling in my gut that something horrible had happened.

We went back out to my car to get my cell phone so I could start making some calls. I had several missed calls from my parents, normally I don’t listen to voicemails but this time I figured I better. As I listened to the voicemail my heart skipped a beat. Apparently my brother had wandered out of First Ave to cool down and they wouldn’t let him back inside because he was clearly intoxicated. He was not wearing a jacket, it was snowing outside. My brother wandered around downtown Minneapolis, randomly puking on the sidewalks until the police noticed him.

An ambulance was called, a trip to HCMC ensued, a stomach was pumped and my father was called, not to mention the hefty bill that occurred. Lets just say no one was pleased by the outcome of that night. I drove straight to my parents house even though it was the opposite direction of co-workers or my place to check on my brother and “explain” things to my parents. It was one of the least fun conversations I’ve ever had. Since I was clearly not drunk, nor was co-worker drunk, at least my parents believed me when I said I had not and would not knowingly allow brother to drink 16oz of vodka. I hoped that the experience would at least keep my brother from excessively drinking in the future, sadly I don’t think the lesson stuck with him, although he hasn’t, to this day, taken another drunken ride to the hospital in the back of an ambulance again.

I decided after that incident that no alcohol would ever be allowed in my vehicle if minors were going to be riding with us. No easy access for them, ever again!

 

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Some People’s Brothers…

After my niece died I worried my family would drift apart. We did, and we didn’t. While the majority of my family became closer my brother has completely pulled away from all of us. For the first time that I can recall he has stopped responding to my calls and texts. He even cancelled on me last minute for the concert we were supposed to be attending tonight for our favorite band, the last tradition we had left.

If it was just him needing time away from us I could wrap my head around it, but there had been a meeting scheduled with the police investigator and the medical examiner to go over the tox report last Friday and my brother completely skipped it. He chose not to tell any of us about the meeting either and my father only found out about 15 minutes before it started when they called him asking where my brother was. How could he not want to find out if they had a cause of death for his child? They didn’t by the way, they have zero explanation for why she collapsed and paramedics couldn’t resuscitate her. All reports showed she was the picture of health. Maybe the mother confessed to my brother what really happened, maybe that’s why he didn’t want to go to the meeting, because he already knew she (the mom) was responsible for the death, but why not share that with us then?

No one can get through to him, he doesn’t want help, he doesn’t want to talk and we’re all left confused and hurt. All we need is a bit of communication and honesty and we’d leave him alone if that is what he needs from us, but just tell us that. I know he lost his daughter but why push us away too? What does he gain by losing the rest of his family?