Have you ever felt like you’re stuck in a waiting period of your life?
I’d like to pose a different question to you.
Let’s just say, hypothetically, that each person on Earth has a specific set of assignments, or goals, to accomplish in their time here. Pre-arranged contracts with people to achieve life lessons, you help them, they help you, etc. at specific times in your life. Cross off all the “to do’s” and you pass the course and get to move on. If you don’t score high enough, or you get caught in the plethora of traps, you have to repeat it all over again.
Let’s just say this isn’t your first rodeo, should’ve actually been your last one, but even tho you crossed everything off your list you find yourself trapped in a situation where you find every attempt to alter things, futile. You aren’t moving on, but you can’t seem to change any of the aspects of your life.
What do you do?
Life lessons learned so far:
Be kind – It takes more strength to return selfishness and anger with kindness and empathy than it does to lash back at the person or try to prove you’re right. This doesn’t mean you are obligated to subject yourself to cruelty from others but returning anger with anger or hate with hate doesn’t produce anything of value.
Don’t judge others for superficial things – You rarely know what other people are going through, or what their true intentions are, and we all see the world a little differently, so putting other people down because they are different from you won’t actually make you feel better or solve any of your own problems.
Fear is often a liar – Back when we were primal creatures fear was an integral and much needed emotion to keep people alive. However, now that we have much easier access to food, shelter, and society (most people, not all, there’s still lots of poverty and war) fear is bored and it likes to manifest in insecurities that cause people to lash out at others. Projecting your fears onto someone else doesn’t make your own insecurities go away. Pushing people away before they can potentially hurt you in the future doesn’t protect you, just keeps you isolated. Fear has its place, usually to keep you from doing dangerous things that could kill you, but often it’s just lying to you and ultimately causing you to miss out on amazing people and experiences. Learn to recognize when fear is useful and when it’s just fucking with you.
Money is nice but it isn’t the most important thing in life – Money is a tool that you can use to trade for goods and services, to travel and experience new cultures, to provide a sense of security for everyday living. However, it is an arbitrary item that we all just agree has value, it’s an inanimate item that can not provide you with authentic love or happiness long term. It is worth having but shouldn’t be your sole focus in life.
No one is perfect and life needs balance – You will fuck up plenty in your life. You make mistake so you can learn what not to do. Your mistakes do not define you, but your repeated actions do. Eventually you have to make a choice about the kind of person you want to be. Some people will be destructive (usually because they’ve experienced trauma or weren’t taught any other way) others will be constructive and strive to create general goodness in the world, but without the contrast how could we define one or the other. Many people will be a mix of both good and bad over their lifetime depending on external factors and internal feelings. Indulging in questionable choices or vices, when they don’t negatively impact others and are done in moderation, can provide a balance that helps you figure out who you are.
Life is less stressful the more open minded you are – When you don’t close yourself off to new ideas, new experiences, or new people you don’t have to waste your time freaking out about anything that differs from your pre conceived notions or pulls you from your comfort zone. Instead the sense of security you get from having a vast store of knowledge lets you face life with confidence and fortitude. You also get in less fights or pointless arguments with people online.
When you love, do it unconditionally – Love, real love, doesn’t come with conditions. Again, this doesn’t mean you subject yourself to abuse in the name of love, but learning how to love another person regardless of their flaws is one of the greatest experiences in life. Having the strength to be open and vulnerable with another person and to have them feel safe enough to do the same…fucking magic right there.
Anything worth doing is worth doing well – I’m not sure how much explaining this needs, but basically it always feels better to take pride in what you’re doing.
Leave the world and people better than you found it/them – Don’t shit where you eat. Don’t destroy the planet you depend on for survival. United we stand and divided we fall. Building others up is more beneficial than tearing them down. Lead by example. Pet all the soft furry domesticated animals that are friendly.
You are never done learning – I get the irony of listing this in contrast to my title but I already understand that for as much as I know, in relation to all knowledge I know barely anything and each day will bring new information, new ideas, and new ways to accomplish things. That being said, please do share the life lessons I’m missing because I’d love to add them to my list.
1. Go on a search for as many statues as possible, pose next to them like they were a real person and take a photo, compile collection.
2. Go to obscure (mom&pop) bookstores or Goodwill and leave equal parts ominous and positive notes in random books.
3. Rent rival costumes and then go out in public and when people stare at you, scream “our forbidden love can no longer be kept secret!” and then start making out. Also, if one of you chooses to dress like a superhero feel free to play vigilante and stop some sort of petty crime.
4. Buy numerous tropical plants and create a jungle in your living room, invite people over for a dinner party then have them enact a dramatic island scene if they want to be fed. Have them take the plants home with them as a souvenir, or return them to the store saying you bought the wrong ones if you don’t have the extra cash.
5. Use strategic camera angles to create fictitious adventures you never had.
6. Visit multiple friends and family members and move one of their knick knacks to a different location…take a photo before you move it and send to them challenging them to figure out where you put it. See who can find theirs the fastest. Post scores online.
7. Go to the airport and take the soonest departing cheapest flight to wherever and spend the weekend having a random adventure in a different city.
8. Partner up with someone in a public place and brainstorm new television pitches, ask people passing by to help you come up with ideas and survey their interest in your stories.
9. Weather permitting, walk around your city from dusk till dawn then stop at the next open restaurant for breakfast.
10. Using fake names, meet up with your partner and have dinner/drinks pretending you are strangers meeting for the first time.
11. Using props, create a photo journal of a person that doesn’t exist.
12. Figure out the lamest free touristy thing to do in your city, go and actually secretly enjoy every second of it.
13. Rent a movie no one has seen and turn the sound off, then make up your own story line and dialogue.
14. Dress like you’re rich, test drive fancy cars and park in front of a mansion to take photos like you’re doing a high-end magazine shoot, post online and pretend you just won some money and see how many people try to hit you up for cash.
15. See just how long you can go without getting out of bed, make a tent out of the blankets and pretend the floor is lava, say the dirtiest things you can think of to your partner to see who blushes first.
*Not all of these ideas were solely mine, this is partly adapted to a list I found somewhere but with alterations.
Several times a year I (sometimes literally) stumble upon other people’s porn stashes. Is this normal? Is there just so much porn out there that people throw it away on side walks and leave it in hotel rooms? Is there some prank I don’t know about where instead of leaving a bag of flaming dog shit you leave a paper bag full of porn on someone’s front stoop? I really want to know because I honestly can’t tell if I’m a discarded porn magnet or someone is playing the longest running joke on me.